Rethinking the Holidays: Thoughtful Spending & Intentional Traditions

Barbara Provost 1:09
Yeah. I mean, it’s not that we’ve never given gifts. Of course we have, and they’re usually pragmatic or things people want, versus just going out and mindlessly shopping for people into Yeah, we’ve never really, you know, been giving each other a long list of gifts we want. And

Maggie Nielsen 1:30
I know we were talking about this a bit, and I watched the new Netflix documentary about consumerism. Did you watch it yet? Not yet. Yeah, if you watch that before you go holiday shopping, that will really put your thoughts into perspective. It’s not a very happy thing, but we’ll help you with consumerism. I think it will help you buy a little less, seeing how things are not ever decomposed or ever away, which I think is why we buy pragmatic gifts. And I like things that I can use, and then otherwise, why would I have it just sit there?

Barbara Provost 2:01
Well, yeah, and I think it goes to, you know, what brings you joy, yeah? So when I think about family, I always want to, you know, create memories, right? I’m making memories or making deposits, as they say, you know, depositing into your family with ways that are memorable. So for me, what I loved is I used to make, make, you know, the family on Christmas day get all bundled up, because usually really cold with the dog, and, you know, walk down to the park in the snow and just kind of, you know, play with the dog or have a snowball fight or something like that, because then we’d come back to a nice, warm, cozy home, put on a fire, have a nice dinner. But it’s about getting up, getting out, and having kind of some kind of family tradition. Yeah?

Maggie Nielsen 2:51
I mean, I was thinking about that more on Thanksgiving. I think about on Christmas, how we’d always go to a movie.

Barbara Provost 2:58
Yeah, we’d go to a movie together, and what are you laughing about one

Maggie Nielsen 3:03
time, one time on Christmas, as a family, we went to go see wolf Wall Street was a fun family activity.

Barbara Provost 3:13
That was a little bit of a wild movie for the age appropriation. But you know, sometimes you just experience it. And now you always remember that, right? Yeah, it was a long movie, but it was a great time. It was a great time, yeah, and then we’d just go have dinner together. So it’s, it’s more about spending time or having memories. And you know, if you need something, you mean, it’s not like you didn’t get what you wanted or needed. It was pretty pragmatic. And I think that comes from, you know, just my upbringing, of being in such a big family. You know, for Christmas, typically we got pajamas for reminder.

Maggie Nielsen 3:51
Barb is one of 13, so,

Barbara Provost 3:55
so it was like three gifts, maybe pajamas, and maybe a doll or something. And I don’t know, I thought maybe that was

Maggie Nielsen 4:04
that like one gift

Barbara Provost 4:05
for the girls and one gift for the boys. Oh, yes. So I remember the year for all of the girls, we got one of those hair dryers that you sit under, or you can even stand up. It’s like what you see in an actual hair salon. That’s how big this thing was, but seven girls, right? It got its it got its full use. You know, you sit under it is so loud you can’t hear if people are talking to you back in the day. And then the boys got a bird in a cage, yeah?

Maggie Nielsen 4:35
Like a real bird, a real bird, yeah, right, right, right. I’m sure that’s what they wanted. I think you guys may not be around that year,

Barbara Provost 4:43
but it’s just funny, because we always remember that. We don’t always remember the gifts that we got, unless, for some amazing reason it was so like your first bike or something. But you know what was memorable? What are your thoughts? Maggie,

Maggie Nielsen 4:57
I love pragmatic things. If I were to. Get a gift, and needs to be pragmatic. I was thinking about this the other day, and like some of my favorite gifts, weighted blanket, 100% electric toothbrush. If you know someone in your life who does not have an electric toothbrush right now, that’s what they need for their holiday that’s it’s life changing. You know? I was thinking, I really wish Mike Barb’s husband like for a toolkit for Christmas, just like things I would need for the car that I don’t know that I would need. I ordered one of those tire pressure pumps. I ordered one of those, but I was thinking the other day. I was like, I should probably have a blanket. And maybe there’s other things people put in their car that I have no idea about. So just some things that are, like, helpful life, things that I would never actually choose to buy, but really know I need my life.

Barbara Provost 5:48
Those are my favorite things. Yeah, and you have a very pragmatic gift on the way, I know, a

Maggie Nielsen 5:53
new piece of luggage. I mean, you’re gonna use it all the time. That’s like, you know, I don’t want anything at the store, and then I just need a store when I’m not traveling, and that’s fine,

Barbara Provost 6:04
yeah, and we’re big on thrifting. I mean, we don’t thrift gifts or anything like that, but we’re big on thrifting, reuse, recycle, renew, all of that, and that’s just a fun way to spend your day.

Maggie Nielsen 6:16
I wouldn’t hate thrifting on gifting, but I wanted to talk about one time one of my aunts said, My aunt has two daughters, and they both have partners. So it was like three couples. And one year for Christmas, what they would always do is everyone would like buy a dinner through the year, and so you’d pick the restaurant, and it’s kind of like the experience, and then you kind of pay for what you what, what you want to pay? I mean, if you want to pay for a steakhouse for everyone, you would do that. But if you wanted to, like, go to some bar, that’s more of an experience, but maybe cheaper, like that was an option too, you know, but it’s like that way you had three dates set on the calendar for the year that everyone would go out together, which I thought was, like, a nice way to do it, because everyone was kind of adults. They didn’t need anything, but like, that way you had three times throughout the year that you would all meet up.

Barbara Provost 7:09
Yeah, I love that too, because it’s, it’s creating an experience that one couple will plan for the rest of them. Yeah, and it doesn’t matter the dollar amount, it’s just make a great opportunity for us to come together and enjoy something to eat and the experience, and, you know, maybe do something afterwards. I thought that that was a fantastic way to celebrate, you know, the holidays, aka, you know, just your family and being together as well throughout the year. Because, you know, as adults, it’s so difficult sometimes to get your children together all in one place. But if you put them on the calendar during that year, you know around the holiday time what your plan is, then you already have it mapped out. Yeah, I

Maggie Nielsen 7:50
love that one a lot. And then I know we always talk about, like, doing some kind of volunteering thing. So I know, like, locally, I don’t know if it’s just in the Chicagoland area is, like, feed my serving children where. But you could also, do, you know, any soup kitchen, or, you know, some kind of, like, family donation. I know we did our event at Bernie’s Book Bank. And you could, you know, go and volunteer there. I guess, feed my serving children and Bernie’s are good with like groups, or like, if you have children, so like, five or eight, which is nice when the whole family’s together, you can all kind of volunteer and kind of give back while you’re together as well.

Barbara Provost 8:28
Yeah, and teaching your children. You know that there are less fortunate people who don’t just get a ton of gifts under the tree every year, but they’re just trying to make it through life sometimes, and if we all lend a helping hand. We make it easier for everyone. Yeah, and so this year, Mike and I are going to go celebrate Christmas with Ed and Maggie out in Kansas City and have like a pre Christmas holiday. So just coming together for the weekend, I think we’re even gonna go to the Kansas City game, maybe out for a nice dinner, and just spending time together, since we don’t get together all that often, is, for me, the only thing I really want to do for Christmas. I don’t need a gift. I just, you know, children are everything, especially as they get older and move away, spending time with them is so important. Yeah, we’re

Maggie Nielsen 9:20
also going to use some of my handyman skills. I think we’re going to put in a new faucet. But not everybody knows about this plan yet. Well,

Barbara Provost 9:29
you’re going to have to let them know what kind of tools you should bring along if possible. But, yeah, I mean, helping out one another is great, but so for gifting on the holidays. You know, I’ve seen this video where, you know, I watch Tiktok, and they’ll say, you know, you don’t need another eyeliner, you don’t need another lip gloss, you don’t need a packet of five different pairs of socks. You don’t need, you know, a new bag, another bag and and this woman who’s doing it is actually doing it because she’s purging her. House, in her closet and all of that, and realizing, wow, you know, I bought all of these bags, and really, how many times have I used them? What did I spend on them? The clothes? I mean, when we really think about the clothes, and we probably wear 10 to 20% of the same clothes over and over, versus what what else is in our closet. And while we’re not dissing people who have a lot of clothes, good for you, if that’s your thing, that’s your thing, it’s just there’s a lot of consumerism, like you say back at that Netflix special that they talk about. It’s just, you know, as we think about better for the world, better for one another, and really, you know, teaching or showing your your values through your actions.

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Maggie Nielsen 11:32
Did you ever feel just like, like, sometimes I just feel uncomfortable showing up empty handed, you know, especially during the holiday time, like you have to get at least a bottle of wine or a lotion, or things like that, which I got, like, they’re not much. It’s not even the price after a while, but it’s just like, you know, I don’t use anything stunted. I don’t want anyone to buy me a lotion, you know, I don’t want the wine, like, really, just, just calm, you know, like,

Barbara Provost 11:56
I haven’t I have the best solution to that. You want to hear it. That’s what we’re here for. I think if you bring somebody some luscious pastries or something that they can have for their breakfast the next day, is always a nice treat to bring people, because food around the holidays is special, and so even if you bake yourself, you bake a pie, or you make a luscious strata, or something that they can heat and put on the next day in there for their breakfast, I think, as a hostess gift. That’s really kind of fun, because, you know, they’ve worked so hard, and now you’re treating them to something they can have luscious the next day. I Why are you smiling at me?

Maggie Nielsen 12:46
Because I could see you. Sometimes somebody bringing you a casserole, you’d be like, I’m not going to

Barbara Provost 12:50
eat that. No, I would eat a strata. I was thinking about making one, but moreover, I was thinking about these luscious pastries they have at this bakery down the street, which are just so yummy and so decadent. And how often do you eat something like that? Not that often. Yeah, I did that one time. I went to a friend’s house. She invited us for New Year’s Eve. And so instead of bringing, you know, alcohol, I brought her some luscious pastries for the morning, for her and her husband. I

Maggie Nielsen 13:21
mean, I would not be mad about that at all, but, um, okay, and then I did have another question about, oh, the people that you do need to gift slash extra tip during the holidays. This is the list I always forget. So let’s just run through it. Usually your house cleaner. You pay double, absolutely,

Barbara Provost 13:43
yep, you should pay double.

Maggie Nielsen 13:45
Do you tip your mailman?

Barbara Provost 13:50
I don’t, because I don’t really even know my mailman. He just drives around in a truck. I don’t think even know his name or what he looks like.

Maggie Nielsen 13:56
Okay,

Barbara Provost 13:57
do you do I know who it is? No, do you ship your mailman? Um,

Maggie Nielsen 14:06
I’ve thought about it. I’m always afraid that they’re just gonna take the letter and like, there’s not gonna be cash in there. I mean, I could leave them some cookies. I make a Tunder in the holiday. So I’m sure I’ve done that before.

Barbara Provost 14:17
That would be lovely. Um, I’m not in the hairdresser. Okay,

Maggie Nielsen 14:24
what do you how do you tip them extra? Do you tip them double? What do you tip

Barbara Provost 14:27
them? Probably double the normal tip.

Maggie Nielsen 14:30
Okay, just sometimes when you go during the holiday season,

Barbara Provost 14:33
yeah, double. If it’s someone that you’ve gone to for a long, long time, for sure. And then also, um, my manicurist, yeah, I was gonna say the nail person. It is someone I go to all the time. So that’s another way of I just double the tip. And then that’s another experience. I mean, we’ve done that together. We just love getting many Pettys together. That’s a treat for us. We love to do. And, yeah, not mad that, like that. And massages. Oh, your masseuse, yes. Well, my masseuse, she doesn’t take tips.

Maggie Nielsen 15:12
So do you give her anything different during the holidays? I haven’t I love someone who doesn’t take a tip. Just charge what you want for 90 minutes that I just paid you for because you’re the owner of the business. Yeah.

Barbara Provost 15:25
And she said to us, you know, I’m my prices are being raised, but I’m not taking tips. You know, you don’t have to tip me, but she’s very clear about it, and so she’s just paying for the services, which is fine with me, and I’m glad that she had that conversation with us and told us, you know, how she works, and that was great. She’s just an independent masseuse, and she’s fantastic. So, yeah, the other thing you know, as a small business is really telling other people about other businesses that you use, so without a lot of brouhaha, you know, I tell people all the time about my masseuse, where she is, she’s local, she’s fantastic, and I’ve referred her to probably four or five people who now she has in her books,

Maggie Nielsen 16:09
just don’t take my time slot.

Barbara Provost 16:13
Yeah, so, and she’s grateful for that, right? Yeah, that’s what a small business wants. So that’s important.

Maggie Nielsen 16:18
I mean, just like they show on Instagram. Sometimes it’s kind of techy, but like, the save, the share the like the Repost. I mean, they do all like, really help, you know, but there’s really nothing better than an authentic post or share about it. But yeah, even during the holidays, if you do those free things, all the podcasts you listen to, leave a review on them, like this one, let’s take a moment.

Barbara Provost 16:44
God, wouldn’t we love that? We would love that, and it only takes, you know, maybe a couple minutes, not even it would bring us so much joy.

Maggie Nielsen 16:52
Yeah. I mean, it’s, it is looking at these free things, but then it seems like, you know, we kind of have to reallocate some of the spending that we do onto these service people that we we work with day in and day out, who are kind of, you know, boots on the ground people and so, yeah, seeing where we can tip them there extra. I’m trying to think, if there’s anyone else I’m forgetting about, we don’t have, like, doormen. I just have a dog. He doesn’t do much at the door.

Barbara Provost 17:19
Yeah, there’s not a lot of other services I would say that I use. But, you know, around the holidays, like, if I use Instacart, you know, I’ll tip more for those people who are working hard around the holidays. Yeah. But the biggest thing is, you know, I love to just call people by their name tag and have a little conversation and wish them a happy holiday, like I was at Trader Joe’s yesterday, and the guy checking out my groceries, he had a name tag that said big wave Dave on it, you know? So, of course, oh yeah, about it, right? And ask him what that happened. Why? Why that came? We talked a little about bit about that. So, no, he’s from California. Ah, big wave. Dave. Yeah, he was, was gifted that from the Trader Joe’s he worked at in California. So he used that now in the middle of Chicago. I’m like, Why did you come here? But he loves Chicago. He loves Illinois. His you know, children love the schools here, so it was fantastic. But I had I not seen that on his name tag or just said thanks Dave or something, we would not have had that little nugget of conversation. And I think, you know, people are lonely. People like to have a little chit chat. Of course, it’s not hard to do at Trader Joe’s, but just in general, oh, let me tell you something else. I forgot to tell you this. I was at a store getting something for the Thanksgiving table, since I’m hosting

Maggie Nielsen 18:43
and All right, let’s back up here. For those who are new Barb has taken on this whole new identity of making a tablescape for the holidays. This is a whole new thing. It was never like this growing up, and now she thinks she’s Martha Stewart. Well, the whole dinner is from Whole Foods. So I love that.

Barbara Provost 19:02
Yeah, I don’t like to cook as much, so get the dinner from Whole Foods and just kind of play around with a little table scape, because I have time now. I’m not raising little children, and, you know, working full time and table scape, working, going to school and all that. But come on, Maggie, we set a decent table. No, I know. I just, I just, I know I’d like to laugh at me. But anyway, when I told the woman my name, because she asked for, you know, when I was checking out, I said, Barbara. She goes, just like mine. I’m like, really? I said, What’s your middle name? And she said, Joan. And I said, just like mine. We were both Barbara Jones. I never meet a barber. I meet a Barbara Jean all the time. She’s like, Yeah, you know, you don’t see any barbers anymore. And I’m like, Yeah, usually they’re our age. That’s it, that name’s gone by the wayside. But, you know, we had such a little nice conversation about it, and we. Wish each other a nice, happy Thanksgiving, and it was just a little kind of joyous nugget in my day made me happy. I have definitely

Maggie Nielsen 20:07
taken that tip from you and talk everyone by their first name when they have a name tag, and for a while, when I had, like, my girlfriend roommates, they were just like everybody you talk to, you know, like you have to just pretend like you’re best friends. But, you know, I lost the grocery the other day. I was like, Thanks, Holly. Have a great day, you know? I was like, How’d you know she was Holly? And I was like, her name tag said it, and that’s one of my drawbacks with Aldi, is they don’t wear a name tag. I can’t call her by her name. I don’t know what

Barbara Provost 20:36
they’re they’re human beings. They’re hard working people. I mean, we need to, you know, show the love a little bit, especially around the holidays. Call them by their name,

Maggie Nielsen 20:45
yeah, really identify them,

Barbara Provost 20:49
for sure. So, so it’s a little things in life that make me happy, like trying to put together a table scape. And they’re they don’t turn out great, but they’re okay. And I usually take about 10 pictures and send them to you, Maggie, and we

Maggie Nielsen 21:03
will see if we can attach those with the episode. You finished getting table scape. I did,

Barbara Provost 21:10
but right now, there’s a huge puzzle at my table that you started with Mike, and it’s all sushi, which is driving him crazy, and me too, because I’m not a puzzler, but I was over there trying to help him, because he wants to finish it before he has to take it apart. So I can set the table

Maggie Nielsen 21:26
the drama, the drama, there’s a

Barbara Provost 21:31
lot going on, lot

Maggie Nielsen 21:32
going on, all right, so I think we covered what we set out to cover gifts, not gifts, family bonding, who we need to get tipped in the holidays. Anything else we missed?

Barbara Provost 21:45
Just being kind and courteous, using people’s names and having a little bit of conversation to the people that are working so hard over the over the holidays and acknowledging them as well, sounds great. Yeah. Hope

Maggie Nielsen 21:59
everyone else has a happy, happy holiday season. Yeah? And we got some big things for 2025 which is weird to say, so keep practicing that one.

Barbara Provost 22:10
Yeah. So we’d love to get a review on our podcast, but also share your tips. You know, what do you love to do as a family? How much do you tip into whom you know? What are your thoughts? We’d love to share them with the rest of the community. So let us know. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, like and share our podcast, because if we’re not talking about money, we’re not learning

Maggie Nielsen 22:36
about money. All right, talk to you all again.

Barbara Provost 22:39
Soon. Be financially fearless. Bye.

Speaker 1 22:41
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Transcribed by https://otter.ai