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Considering Divorce? Understanding Your Fight, Flight, or Freeze Response
When you’re facing the possibility of divorce, it can feel like you’re navigating a storm without a map — emotions swirling, decisions looming, and no clear direction forward. In these moments, many women find themselves in one of three instinctual responses: fight, flight, or freeze.
Fight
Most often, no one truly wants to “fight.” It’s always best to remain as amicable as possible, especially since you’ll likely cross paths at family events, graduations, babies, weddings. Consider this, if you’re in “fight” mode, you’re ready to take action. You might be meeting with a certified divorce financial analyst, and an attorney, gathering documents, and planning your next steps. This proactive energy can be powerful — it shows you’re ready to advocate for yourself and your future. But remember, fighting smart means balancing assertiveness with strategy and compassion, so your decisions protect both your peace of mind and your long-term goals.
Flight
In “flight” mode, you might hope everything will simply work itself out. You may think the numbers will somehow come out fair, maybe you’ll avoid difficult conversations, or put off gathering important information. While stepping back can feel safer in the moment, staying in flight mode too long can leave you vulnerable and unprepared. The key is to gently encourage yourself to start taking confident steps forward, with the right support by your side. Build your tribe, join a support group, interview divorce financial planners, and attorneys. You don’t have to “rush” into anything, just be informed!
Freeze
Then there’s “freeze” mode: feeling completely stuck and unsure where to begin. Being paralyzed by fear is common during divorce, but it can be overcome and managed by breaking things down into smaller, more manageable pieces. Start with one simple task — like organizing financial documents or having an initial conversation with a trusted advisor. Each step builds clarity and confidence, helping you regain your sense of control. Gaining clarity and understanding is one of the most powerful actions you can take during the divorce process.
Final Thoughts
Whether you find yourself fighting, fleeing, or frozen, your response is valid and not uncommon! The most important thing is to recognize where you are and take intentional steps forward — at your own pace.
Divorce is never easy, but you don’t have to go through it alone. With the right support and a thoughtful plan, you can move from feeling overwhelmed to feeling empowered — and start creating a new financial future that’s truly yours.
Turning Tides Financial focuses on women who are considering or in the process of divorce. We recognize that too often many women going through divorce, experience a drastically reduced standard of living and income. Don’t let an emotional crises become a financial one. Let us help you plan your new financial future; We will help you Live Your Life & Plan Your Future! Contact us at Turning Tides Financial and schedule your complimentary discovery call today!
Julianne Incardona
Business Owner, Financial Advisor, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst at Turning Tides Financial
As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Financial Advisor & trained Mediator, I offer a suite of services to Individuals, Collaborative Divorce Attorneys, and Mediators working through financial planning for “life’s money transitions.” These transitions include Divorce, Widowhood and Retirement. I believe in Personal Empowerment through proper planning and investing for lifetime income strategies, personal financial management, review of tax strategies for inherited, divided or received assets. Complete analysis for income and retirement needs is part of the goal oriented advising each client receives.
Empowering individuals experiencing difficult, emotional or unknown financial transitions is my primary objective. This focus can be done in conjunction with traditional investing, retirement design and personal financial management. Financial clarity and pursuit of financial freedom is my goal for each client.
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