Adoption and Surrogacy Financial Planning: The Real Costs of Growing Your Family

Money Talks

Adoption and Surrogacy Financial Planning: The Real Costs of Growing Your Family

This Week’s Guest

Terrell Joyner

Partner/Financial Advisor, Virtual CFO at Charter Oak Financial

Building a family through adoption or surrogacy is one of the most emotional, meaningful, and life-changing journeys a person can experience.

It is also one of the most financially complex.

At Purse Strings, we believe women and families deserve honest conversations about money during every major life transition—including the path to parenthood. Because while people often prepare emotionally for adoption or surrogacy, many are shocked by the financial realities, hidden costs, and long-term planning involved once the process actually begins.

And the truth is: the financial planning does not stop once the baby arrives.

The Real Cost of Adoption and Surrogacy

One of the biggest misconceptions around adoption and surrogacy is that there is one predictable price tag.

There is not.

Costs can vary dramatically depending on the type of adoption, legal and medical needs, agency involvement, travel, timelines, and insurance coverage. Some family-building journeys may cost several thousand dollars, while others can climb well into the tens of thousands.

For many families, the emotional side of the process can make it difficult to slow down and fully evaluate the long-term financial impact. But understanding the numbers early creates more flexibility and fewer surprises later.

Understanding the Different Adoption Paths

Not all adoption journeys look the same financially or emotionally.

Foster-to-adopt is often the most affordable route financially and may include state support or reimbursements. But lower financial cost does not necessarily mean lower emotional cost. Families considering foster care often need to prepare for uncertainty, changing timelines, and emotionally difficult transitions throughout the process.

Independent adoption can provide more flexibility and personal control, but it also requires families to coordinate more of the legal, logistical, and communication responsibilities themselves. While this route may reduce some agency fees, it often requires significantly more hands-on management.

Agency-supported adoption tends to offer more structure and support throughout the process, which many families find valuable during an emotionally intense experience. However, those services often come with higher costs, including matching fees, legal expenses, counseling services, and travel-related costs.

Surrogacy Comes With Layers of Financial Complexity

Surrogacy is not simply one payment or one contract.

It can involve agency coordination, fertility treatments, legal agreements, insurance questions, compensation-related expenses, and medical procedures spread across a long timeline.

Unexpected delays or medical changes can also impact costs significantly, which is one reason financial preparation matters so much. Many intended parents begin the process with one budget in mind and quickly realize the actual financial picture may evolve over time.

The Hidden Costs Families Forget to Plan For

One of the strongest themes from this conversation was that many people focus so heavily on getting the child home that they forget to plan for life after.

But the financial transition into parenthood is significant.

After adoption or surrogacy, families often face increased childcare costs, insurance changes, reduced income during leave, debt repayment decisions, college planning, and updates to retirement goals. For many women and families, these are not temporary expenses. They become part of the long-term financial picture.

And childcare alone can quickly reshape a household budget.

This is why financial planning for family-building should extend beyond the process itself and include the years that follow.

Grants and Tax Credits Can Help—But Planning Still Matters

Many families are surprised to learn there may be financial resources available to help offset some adoption expenses.

That can include employer benefits, adoption assistance programs, grants, and federal adoption tax credits.

But there are important nuances.

Grant opportunities often come with income requirements, application timelines, and adoption-specific qualifications. And while grants can provide meaningful support, they are never guaranteed.

The federal adoption tax credit may also help offset qualifying expenses, but eligibility rules and timing matter significantly.

Understanding the difference between a tax deduction and a tax credit is important here. A deduction lowers taxable income, while a credit directly reduces taxes owed. That distinction can have a major impact when families are recovering from large adoption or surrogacy expenses.

Because of these complexities, many families benefit from working with a financial or tax professional familiar with family-building financial planning.

Why Estate Planning Suddenly Feels More Real

Once children enter the picture, conversations around protection and legacy planning often become much more urgent.

Families may need to revisit:

Guardianship decisions
Beneficiary designations
Life insurance coverage
Wills and trusts
Emergency planning

For families navigating adoption, surrogacy, blended families, or same-sex parenting, having clear legal documentation can become especially important.

These conversations are emotional, but avoiding them can create even more stress later.

Frequently Asked Questions

How much does adoption typically cost?

Costs vary significantly depending on the type of adoption, legal needs, travel, and whether an agency is involved.

Is surrogacy more expensive than adoption?

In many situations, surrogacy can involve higher overall costs due to medical procedures, legal agreements, insurance, and agency coordination.

Are there grants available for adoption?

Some families may qualify for adoption grants or employer assistance programs, though eligibility and funding availability vary.

How does the adoption tax credit work?

The federal adoption tax credit may help offset qualifying expenses, but rules around eligibility, timing, and refundability can vary.

What financial planning should happen after adoption or surrogacy?

Families often review childcare costs, insurance, retirement planning, emergency savings, guardianship, wills, and trusts after growing their family.

The Bottom Line

Adoption and surrogacy are not just emotional journeys.
They are financial journeys, too.

And while the costs can feel overwhelming, thoughtful planning creates more stability, clarity, and confidence for the future you are building.

At Purse Strings, we believe women and families deserve transparent financial conversations around every stage of life—including the path to parenthood.

Because growing your family should come with support, not confusion.

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The Hidden Costs of Caregiving: How to Plan, Protect, and Support Your Loved Ones

Money Talks

The Hidden Costs of Caregiving: How to Plan, Protect, and Support Your Loved Ones

This Week’s Guest

Randall Journeay White, MBA, CFP®, ChFC®

Owner & Director of Planning at ASB Financial Services

rwhite@asb-inc.com

Caregiving rarely starts with a plan.

It starts with a moment—a diagnosis, a fall, a shift—and suddenly, everything changes.

For many women, that moment turns into a long-term role filled with responsibility, emotion, and financial pressure. And while caregiving is often rooted in love, the reality is this:

The costs—financial, physical, and emotional—are often much higher than expected.

At Purse Strings, we believe caregiving is not just a family conversation. It is a financial one. And having a plan in place can make all the difference.

Why Caregiving Is One of the Most Overlooked Financial Risks

Caregiving is often treated as something that will “figure itself out.”

But the numbers—and real-life experiences—tell a different story.

Costs can include:

In-home care or facility care
Lost income or reduced work hours
Travel, medical expenses, and home modifications
Emotional and physical strain on the caregiver

And many of these costs show up quickly, often without warning.

For women in the “sandwich generation”—caring for children while also supporting aging parents—the pressure can feel especially heavy.

The Reality of Long-Term Care

One of the biggest misconceptions around caregiving is what is actually covered by insurance.

Many people assume Medicare will handle most care needs. In reality, coverage is limited and often short-term.

That leaves families responsible for a significant portion of long-term care costs, which can include:

Assisted living
Skilled nursing facilities
In-home support

These expenses can add up quickly and last for years, not months.

Understanding the difference between short-term care and long-term care is a critical first step in building a realistic plan.

Why Early Conversations Matter More Than You Think

Most families wait too long to talk about caregiving.

The conversations happen during a crisis—when decisions are rushed, emotions are high, and options feel limited.

Planning ahead creates clarity.

It allows families to discuss:

Care preferences
Financial responsibilities
Backup plans if a primary caregiver cannot continue
Legal and medical decision-making

These conversations are not always easy. But they can prevent confusion, conflict, and stress later on.

Funding Care: What Options Exist

There is no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to paying for care.

But there are options that can help families prepare, including:

Personal savings and investments
Insurance-based strategies designed to support long-term care needs
Hybrid solutions that combine life insurance with care benefits
Structured financial planning to protect assets over time

The key is understanding what is available and exploring options early, when more choices are still on the table.

If you are unsure where to start, working with a professional can help you evaluate what fits your situation. You can explore options through the Purse Strings Approved Professionals Directory.

Protecting the Caregiver Matters Too

One of the most overlooked parts of caregiving is the caregiver.

Women often step into this role without thinking about their own financial stability, health, or long-term impact.

But caregiving without boundaries can lead to:

Burnout
Financial strain
Delayed retirement or lost income
Long-term health impacts

Protecting yourself is not selfish. It is necessary.

A strong plan considers both the person receiving care and the person providing it.

Common Planning Gaps to Watch For

Even families who try to plan ahead can miss key details.

Some of the most common gaps include:

Assuming Medicare will cover long-term care
Not having updated legal documents in place
No clear financial plan for extended care
Lack of communication between family members
No backup plan if caregiving roles change

Awareness is the first step to fixing these gaps.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the biggest financial risk with caregiving?

The biggest risk is the combination of long-term costs and lack of planning. Care can last for years, and without a plan, expenses can quickly impact savings and financial stability.

Does Medicare cover long-term care?

Medicare typically covers short-term medical care, not extended long-term care needs like ongoing in-home support or nursing facilities.

When should families start planning for caregiving?

Earlier than most people think. Starting conversations and exploring options before a crisis allows for better decisions and more flexibility.

What are ways to pay for long-term care?

Options may include personal savings, insurance-based strategies, and other financial tools designed to support care needs. The right approach depends on individual circumstances.

How can caregivers protect themselves financially?

By setting boundaries, maintaining income where possible, and creating a plan that includes their own financial and health needs.

Take One Step This Week

You do not need to solve everything today.

Start with one step:

Have one conversation with a family member
Review what coverage you currently have
Identify who would make decisions if needed
Write down your biggest caregiving concern

Small steps create clarity.
Clarity creates confidence.

At Purse Strings, we are here to support women through every stage of life—including the ones no one talks about enough.

Because caregiving is not just about showing up for others.
It is about making sure you are supported, too.

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Fertility On Your Terms: Money, Mindset, And Modern Choices

Money Talks

Fertility On Your Terms: Money, Mindset, And Modern Choices

This Weeks Guest

Chelsea Scomak

Lifestyle Financial Planner and CEO

This Weeks Guest

Aliza Virani

Founder of The Fertility Co-Living

When it comes to family planning, most of the conversation is still stuck in the stone age. But at Purse Strings, we know the truth: women are rewriting the rules—and that includes freezing their eggs on their own terms.

In this episode of Money Talks, we brought together two brilliant women—Chelsea Scomak, a vetted Purse Strings Approved Professional and financial planner, and Aliza Virani, founder of The Fertility Co-Living —to talk about what it really looks like to freeze your eggs: financially, logistically, and emotionally.

Spoiler alert: It’s not just a medical decision. It’s a money decision, a mindset shift, and often, a deeply emotional one. Let’s break it down.

The Real Cost of Egg Freezing—At Home and Abroad

Let’s get one thing straight: egg freezing isn’t cheap. In the U.S., it can easily run $20,000+ by the time you factor in consults, meds, procedures, and storage.

But Aliza opened our eyes to a different path—fertility care abroad. At her retreat-based clinic in Mexico, you’re looking at closer to $10,500 for the full experience: medical care, luxury accommodations, nurse visits, sound baths, group dinners—the works. (Yes, really.)

It’s not just about cost—it’s about care. And knowing you have options.

Smart Financial Planning (Without the Overwhelm)

Chelsea brought the no-fluff financial tips every woman needs if she’s considering egg freezing—whether in the U.S. or abroad:

Break the total into small savings goals
Use a high-yield savings account to grow your money faster
Check if your HSA or FSA will cover any costs
Plan for more than one cycle, just in case
Don’t forget future expenses (like implantation and IVF, which can add another $25K+ in the U.S.)

Freezing your eggs doesn’t mean freezing your finances. With a solid plan, it’s doable—and empowering.

The Emotional Weight No One Talks About

Beyond the numbers, Aliza and Chelsea named something just as real: the emotional load. Whether you’re navigating this solo or with a partner, it can feel isolating, heavy, and full of unknowns. One listener asked: “How do I support a friend going through this?”

Answer: Show up. Ask questions. Offer real-life help.

Whether it’s picking up dinner, watching her dog during hormone injections, or just listening without giving unsolicited advice—those small things matter.

Planning for What’s Next

Freezing your eggs is step one. But what about later? Aliza shared the importance of planning for future fertility costs, like embryo creation and implantation—especially if you’re doing this outside the U.S. Spoiler: you’ll likely save thousands doing the whole process abroad.

She also offered a special $250 discount for women who book a fertility consult by September 11—because support and affordability should go hand-in-hand.

Bottom Line

Freezing your eggs is a powerful, personal decision—and it deserves real talk. At Purse Strings, we’re here to make sure you’re informed, prepared, and surrounded by a community that’s cheering you on.

You’re not behind. You’re not alone. And you absolutely deserve care that supports both your body and your bank account.

Join us for our weekly Money Talks session, where we break down real-life money topics. To explore our Purse Strings Approved Professionals, check out our directory to find an expert!

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Mom’s Money Matters: Taking Care of Yourself While You Take Care of Everyone Else

Money Talks

Mom’s Money Matters: Taking Care of Yourself While You Take Care of Everyone Else

This Weeks Guest

Katherine M. Dean

CFP/Financial Advisor/OpalWomen Founder

katherine.dean@opalwealthadvisors.com

Let’s face it—when you’re taking care of everyone else, your own financial needs often fall to the bottom of the list. But here’s the truth: your well-being, your goals, and your money matter too.

In this Money Talks session hosted by Purse Strings, we sat down with Purse Strings Approved Professional and financial powerhouse Katherine Dean, OpalWomen Founder, to talk about what it really looks like to take care of your financial life—even when you’re juggling kids, caregiving, and everything in between.

Why Women Are Overwhelmed (And Why It’s Not Just You)

Many women are carrying more than just the family calendar. We’re caring for kids, aging parents, households—and still trying to find a moment for ourselves. Katherine shared her story of being a single mom, navigating financial strain, and how she rebuilt her confidence (and her wealth) step by step.

Women often put everyone else’s needs first. But taking care of yourself financially isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

Setting Goals That Actually Work for Your Life

Katherine talked about the power of SMART goals—the kind that fit your real life and your real schedule.
That could mean:

Saving a little extra each month
Finding 30 minutes a week to review your budget
Saying no to one more wedding gift or expensive trip

Clear, doable goals help you stay focused and build confidence—one decision at a time.

Know Your Numbers, Know Your Power

You don’t need to be a finance whiz to take control. You just need to know where you stand.
Katherine encouraged women to do a quick financial check-in:

What’s your savings rate?
What are you spending without realizing it?
Are there opportunities to bring in more income?

She shared how she went from just getting by to investing in venture capital—not overnight, but through steady choices that aligned with her values and her future.

Personal Growth Is a Financial Strategy, Too

At Purse Strings, we talk a lot about how your money and your mindset are connected. Katherine reminded us that it’s not just about dollars—it’s about joy, alignment, and showing up for your life with intention.

When you take care of yourself—physically, emotionally, financially—you’re better equipped to care for everyone else. And it feels a lot better doing it from a place of strength instead of sacrifice.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

One of the biggest takeaways from this session? The power of community.
Sharing our stories—our challenges, our wins, our “I wish I’d known that”—makes us all stronger.

If you’ve been navigating money on your own, consider this your invitation to do it differently. Purse Strings is here to connect you with resources, real talk, and a network of financial professionals who get it.

The Takeaway

Your financial future doesn’t have to come last.

Whether you’re starting from scratch, recovering from a tough season, or just trying to feel more in control—you have the power to change your money story.

As Katherine’s journey shows, small steps add up. And when you combine that with a little support and a lot of clarity, you can move from surviving to thriving.

Join us for our weekly Money Talks session, where we break down real-life money topics. To explore our Purse Strings Approved Professionals, check out our directory to find an expert!

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Raising Financially Savvy Kids

Money Talks

Raising Financially Savvy Kids

This Weeks Guest

Lauren Rosberg

Wealth Advisor at Mercer Advisors

lrosberg@merceradvisors.com

Talking to your kids about money might feel awkward, or even a little intimidating—but it doesn’t have to be. In our recent Money Talks session, we sat down with Lauren Rosberg, a Certified Financial Planner, divorce financial analyst, and mom, to discuss how we can raise confident, money-savvy kids—without needing a finance degree ourselves.

At Purse Strings, we believe financial education doesn’t start with spreadsheets—it starts at home. And as women who often lead the charge in household decision-making, caregiving, and future planning, we have the power to shape how the next generation thinks and feels about money.

Make Money a Part of Everyday Life

Lauren reminded us that financial literacy isn’t a one-time conversation—it’s a series of small, everyday moments.

Let your kids watch you compare prices at the store.
Show them how you save up for something fun.
Talk about what it means to give, to earn, and to wait.

Whether it’s a lemonade stand, a piggy bank, or setting savings goals for a big toy, kids learn by doing. The more we involve them in real-life decisions, the more natural money conversations become.

Skip the Shame—Build Positive Money Mindsets

Too many of us grew up with silence or stress around money. Lauren urges parents to flip the script. That means:

Ditching guilt-based language like “We can’t afford that”
Replacing it with, “That’s not where we’re choosing to spend right now”
Sharing your own money choices in an age-appropriate way

When we speak openly about how we save, budget, or give, we show kids that money is a tool—not a taboo. And if we don’t teach them, society will. (And let’s be honest, TikTok probably won’t prioritize long-term investing over impulse buys.)

Teach Them to Save, Spend, and Give

Financial literacy isn’t just about hoarding cash—it’s about values. From a young age, kids can learn the power of generosity. Lauren suggests creating jars (or digital equivalents) for spending, saving, and giving. And for older kids? Help them set up a basic savings account or even talk through what a Roth IRA is and why it matters. Normalize these conversations so money isn’t something they fear—but something they understand.

Use the Tools That Fit Your Life

Lauren shared tools she uses with her own kids—from apps like Apple Cash to books like The Psychology of Money. But no fancy tech is required. The real key is consistency and openness. Don’t worry about being perfect—just be present. Keep the conversations going. And if you’re still figuring out your own finances? That’s okay. Invite your kids to learn alongside you.

Final Thoughts

You don’t need all the answers to raise confident, capable kids—you just need to start the conversation. At Purse Strings, we’re here to walk that journey with you. Because when women feel financially fearless, the next generation doesn’t just benefit—they thrive.

Join us for our weekly Money Talks session, where we break down real-life money topics. To explore our Purse Strings Approved Professionals, check out our directory to find an expert!

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Managing the Invisible Load: Mental Labor & Money

Money Talks

Managing the Invisible Load: Mental Labor & Money

This Weeks Guest

Karen Koenig

Founder and Owner at KK Financial Solutions – Financially Empowering You

karen@kkfinancialsolutions.us

There’s a reason so many women feel tired all the time. It’s not just the errands, the work emails, or the late-night group texts about who’s bringing snacks to the soccer game. It’s the mental load—the invisible, never-ending checklist we carry around in our heads. And a huge part of that load? Money. Even in households where income is shared, women often take on the emotional and logistical weight of managing finances—budgeting, paying bills, making sure the kids have what they need, and planning for the future. It’s a quiet labor that adds up fast.

At Purse Strings, we see this all the time. Women who are strong, capable, and holding it all together—but underneath the surface, they’re carrying the financial weight of an entire household, often without support or acknowledgment. Let’s talk about how to change that. In this episode of Money Talks, we’re joined by Karen Koenig, a Purse Strings Approved Professional, to unpack what the mental load really looks like and how it impacts our financial lives.

Why Money Management Feels So Heavy

Because it’s not just doing the things—it’s thinking about them. It’s remembering the credit card due date, scheduling the dentist bill payment, researching the best high-yield savings account, and wondering if you’re saving enough for retirement. It’s mentally juggling priorities while trying to stay calm and not let it show. And when we don’t have systems or support? The stress grows quietly until it becomes overwhelming.

You Don’t Have to Do It All Alone

One of the most powerful things you can do is take that invisible work and make it visible—to yourself, to your partner, and to the people who share your life. Here are three simple places to start:

Automate where you can – Bills, transfers, even charitable donations—automation takes tasks off your plate and reduces mental clutter.
Delegate intentionally – Whether it’s asking your partner to handle one recurring task or hiring a bookkeeper for your business, you don’t have to be the default manager for everything.
Schedule your money time – Instead of letting financial stress pop up at random, carve out time to check in. Put it on the calendar. Treat it like the priority it is.

These aren’t just financial hacks—they’re emotional relief.

Building a System That Supports You

Every household is different. Maybe you’re managing money solo. Maybe you’re in a partnership where financial roles have never really been discussed. Or maybe you’ve taken it all on by default, because you’re good at it—and that’s what everyone expects. But just because you can do it all doesn’t mean you should. Creating shared systems, using tools like budgeting apps or shared checklists, and having regular conversations can shift the weight off your shoulders. It creates transparency, shared responsibility, and a little more breathing room.

The Bottom Line

You’re not “bad with money” just because you feel overwhelmed. You’re likely doing the job of a full-time CFO—on top of everything else. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s peace of mind. It’s knowing that you have a plan, a team (even if that starts with just you), and the right tools to keep moving forward. And that’s where we come in. At Purse Strings, we’re here to help you lighten the mental load. To connect you with vetted financial professionals. To give you resources that are made for women. And to remind you that asking for support is not a weakness—it’s a strategy. You don’t have to do money (or life) alone.

Join us for our weekly Money Talks session, where we break down real-life money topics. To explore our Purse Strings Approved Professionals, check out our directory to find an expert!