Litigation Vs. Mediated Divorce

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Litigation Vs. Mediated Divorce

The decision to get a divorce is a very difficult one regardless of the state you live in or your circumstances. You have many options and it is important to understand which process is most appropriate for your situation. Choosing to mediate your divorce vs. litigation can be a challenging one if you do not know the differences between the two. During a consultation with one of the mediators at C.E.L. & Associates, Inc, we explain in non “legalese” terminology everything you need to know to help you make an informed decision. The first step to obtaining an optimal result for your family as you start the divorce process is choosing the right process. To help you make this decision, we have compiled a list of the advantages and disadvantages of both processes. 


Litigation is a process by which an attorney represents each party in the divorce. Each party’s attorney advises them and advocates exclusively on behalf of that person throughout the divorce process. The attorney is there to help the party resolve the case either by negotiating a final settlement agreement or, if necessary, by going to trial and litigating.


1. Court has the power to discipline:

Some parties to a divorce deliberately abuse the process to punish the other side. Judges are empowered to cite parties for contempt if improper tactics are used. Because the judge is making decisions, you do not have to make them for yourself. If a spouse is hiding assets, litigation enables you to compel disclosure of financial records. You can also request records related to income, employment, and other facts relevant to the proceedings.

2. Avoid blame:

Your attorney is controlling the process instead of you, so your spouse cannot blame you for wanting things they may not want to give you. Your attorney can negotiate a potential settlement on your behalf. When emotions are running high, or if your spouse is a bully, it is helpful to have a strong advocate in your corner.


1. Expensive:

In a litigated divorce, you will be paying attorneys’ fees not only for court appearances but also for the work they do outside the courtroom. This includes every telephone call, every email, drafting documents, conversations with your spouse’s attorney and reviewing documents. The longer the divorce drags on, the more work (and fees) you will generate for your lawyer. If the court has a busy docket, the case can be broken up and tried in bits and pieces on different days that can be separated by weeks, if not months. Decisions may be postponed even after trial.

2. Create a future adversarial relationship:

Your attorney may not do what you want him or her to do and this might create an adversarial relationship with your spouse, making it difficult to negotiate and solve problems in the future. You and your spouse may not feel committed to the results because of a lack of participation in the process, and bitterness fostered during the proceedings or lack of fairness in the result.

3. Time-consuming:

There are many steps involved in a litigated divorce with lawyers, and the steps vary from state to state and couple to couple. Often, a party may not want to follow a judge’s orders if they feel it was unfair, against their interest, or simply do not feel like it. If an agreement cannot be reached on one or more of the issues using this approach, the divorce will continue through the family court system. Enforcing court orders can be expensive and emotionally taxing. This process typically takes longer than a mediated divorce. 

Mediated Divorce

Mediation is a unique alternative to litigating your divorce. It provides a gentler, more efficient approach to navigating the sometimes tricky legal process of divorce. It usually ends up being less stressful, less costly, and easier for the entire family to move forward. It is more efficient, costs less, and empowers you to make decisions for your children and your finances.


1. Flexible in nature:

Due to the more relaxed, facilitated process, the lines of communication are kept open and allow for brainstorming of unique solutions to solve any contingency. This flexibility allows for a cooperative approach rather than a combative atmosphere where everyone is left feeling exhausted and dissatisfied. As mediation offers creativity and flexibility, if you and your partner agree on the details and your mediator feels that it is fair, you can pretty much dictate how you want to split the assets and handle parenting issues. This assumes that the mediator believes a judge would approve of the settlement you create.

2. Improves communication:

Mediators are specially trained to diffuse highly-charged situations and are able to soften intransigent emotions and remove blocks to an agreement. Communication between the parties cannot improve when they battle through their attorneys’ voices and become afraid they may say the wrong thing. Without communication, no one has an opportunity to explain themselves, their reasoning behind what they want or need, or even to apologize or admit they may be wrong. Mediation encourages expression of emotions, reasons behind a position and ongoing communication, thereby encouraging a better future for all parties involved.

3. The parties are in charge:

The mediation process allows you to be the architect of your life and that of your family going forward. It gives you control over the process. You will have learned a new language of compromise and how to navigate adversity with your former spouse. The premise is to promote friendly cooperation that is mutually beneficial to everyone. The mediator’s job is not only to help with agreement over terms of the divorce but also to remove emotion from the process and help both sides behave rationally. The trickle-down benefit to the children is immense. In choosing mediation, you will endorse a positive process rather than burning bridges that might damage your family going forward.


1. No legal advice during sessions:

Mediators do not give you legal advice. When you do not have an attorney, no one is looking out for your best interests, just the mediator looking out for everyone’s. No one is advising you so you can make the best decisions for yourself. Mediation requires you to do homework and advocate for yourself in the process. If your spouse is hiding assets, the mediator may never find out. If you have an attorney representing you, the attorney can use the discovery process and an independent investigation to determine whether your spouse is hiding assets. You may, however, have an attorney advising you behind the scenes and educating you about the law as you go through mediation.

2. Possible lack of cooperation:

If you do not employ a skilled mediator, the lack of cooperation by either party may result in an impasse. Mediation relies on the cooperation of both parties for mediation to work. If the parties involved in mediation are not able to compromise, the process may not be successful. It is scary to be your own voice and ask for things from your spouse. It is possible for mediation to end without the parties successfully reaching a settlement agreement. Either party may go back on agreements. The agreements are not legally binding until you go to court and have the agreements signed by a judge at the prove-up. This means either party may change their mind at some point, as mediation is confidential and cannot be used in court. 

Final Thought 

Clients who are relatively amicable/want to be amicable, are willing to negotiate and compromise, who both desire to keep their children’s best interest at the forefront of the divorce, are the ones that do best with mediation. By discussing the issues as parents, instead of litigants, you can outline the terms of your settlement, including sharing parenting time and child support, so you both can focus on what is truly best for your children. You are going to adhere to the agreements you made for yourself in mediation, and have a better co-parenting relationship going forward, as you are the ones making all decisions and have the “buy-in” to them. Litigation, on the other hand, can burn bridges with your spouse, bridges that will never be repaired. However, if your spouse refuses to cooperate, you may need to hire attorneys and proceed with litigation. Clients who are afraid of their spouse, or cannot advocate for themselves, do best with litigation. Your safety should be your number one concern, so if you are afraid for your safety, you’ll want to get an attorney instead of using mediation. The cost and control over the process should be the biggest factor for you when choosing between the two. Talk to a professional and figure out what method best suits your situation. 

If you are looking for divorce mediation and parenting coordinator services across Chicago and the surrounding areas, reach out to us at C.E.L. & Associates, Inc. Our mission is to facilitate conversations among family members during any kind of conflict or transition. Our divorce mediators primarily help couples through separation, divorce, and post-decree issues and assist with the dissolution of their marriage and re-structuring of their family unit, in a civil and private setting. We provide the tools, structure, and guidance to enable you to make informed decisions and advocate for yourself. Our compassion, experience, and style help guide our clients through any difficult situation. 

We offer services like pre-decree divorce agreements, post-decree divorce agreements, marital/family mediation, and co-mediation services to clients anywhere in Illinois, Indiana and Wisconsin.  


Brian James

Brian James

Divorce Mediator and Parenting Coordinator at C.E.L. & Associates, Inc.

At C.E.L. & Associates, Inc., we are dedicated to peaceful, cost-effective agreements that make sense and are good for everyone involved, especially our clients’ children. We have 8 offices throughout Chicagoland and Southeast Wisconsin. And now with Zoom capability, we are able to be even more flexible scheduling meetings and have found benefits in meeting via Zoom that we never imagined possible: lower cost, less stress, more time efficient, expedited from start to finish and better overall satisfaction with the process.

Rewrite Your Money Story

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Rewrite Your Money Story

Let’s dive into a conversation about something that’s near and dear to my heart and yours — money. Yep, that green stuff, the moolah, the cha-ching! It’s time to chat about the business of reframing your money mindset and unlocking a world of financial empowerment.

Our money stories begin with covert messages from society, family, and culture that subtly influence us every day. Case in point: the persistent gender pay gap, hinting at the idea that women’s financial contributions come second.  Or, ads that pigeonhole women as consumers over wealth-builders, not to mention all the “girls are bad with math” baloney.  But guess what? It’s time to turn up the volume on our own voices and redefine the financial narrative written just for us.

It’s just not true – acknowledging our money stories isn’t just about counting pennies; it’s about reclaiming our power. When we unpack the stories we’ve been told, we get to flip the script and create a new tale — one where we’re the heroines of our financial journey.

At Purse Strings, we call out the systems and messaging designed to keep women underserved and ill-informed. Knowledge is the ultimate power. Now, women have a one-stop shop where they can dive into the world of personal finance, investments, and economic trends. Read through our blogs or expert advice to learn one topic at a time. 

We are here to crush gendered stereotypes. Success doesn’t have a gender, and financial prowess is your birthright. Let’s break the mold and show the world that women excel at everything, especially money matters! Besides, there is proof that women are better investors than men!

So, let’s get you rocking your financial dreams by setting clear goals that align with your dreams and desires. Grab our SMART Goals worksheet and make your 2024 goals more than just a wish! Whether it’s a travel fund, an investment portfolio, or treating yourself to something special, we can help you make those dreams a reality.

You are the average of the five people who surround you so join a tribe that cheers on your financial wins. Join our Facebook community and dive into conversations that lift you higher. Your money journey is more fun when you’ve got a network of supporters cheering you on!

Attending to your financial well-being is self-love in action. Regular check-ins, celebrations to treat yo self,  and a dash of self-compassion during financial hiccups – that’s the recipe for a love affair with your money.

Here are terrific resources you can use and places to hang out, learn, and share.


Books to Enrich Your Money:

Online Go-Tos:

Purse Strings: Your go-to trusted resource for tools, resources, and vetted financial professionals who serve a female market.

FREE downloadable resources to help you be financially fearless.

Sign up for weekly Purse Strings newsletters packed with information you can use!

Podcasts to Amp Up Your Vibes:

    Ladies, your money story is YOURS to write. We are here to help you toss out the old scripts, so pick up your pens and craft future of financial choices that are your own. Start today so you can live a life of financial freedom on your own terms.

    Welcome To Therapy-Informed Financial Planning

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    Welcome To Therapy-Informed

    Financial Planning™

    It is my honor to welcome you into a new way of thinking about and experiencing fee-only financial planning. You may have been approaching money from many different vangate points for some time, or you are just trying to keep the house of cards up and hoping this will be different.

    You are welcome no matter where you are on your financial journey.

    Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™ is for all people with ongoing mental and relational health challenges who want a financial planner who gets it and can talk openly and honestly about how mental and relational health impacts their financial life.

    Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™ is for all the people out there that are on a journey of healing from a variety of trauma, abuse, neglect, and dysfunctional family experiences. They want a financial planner who gets the journey and can be a part of the community of people helping them along their path to wholeness and loving relationships.

    The truth is we all have a very personal relationship with money that is profoundly impacted by our lived experiences.

    As wonderful, dynamic, and, yes, sometimes hurt humans, we can have a conflicted relationship with money and the people we love. We all function along a continuum in the love and money department, and most of the people I work with would like things to improve.

    Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™ will provide a safe, nurturing, and supportive environment to work on your financial goals with your partner.

    Why do we choose a safe, nurturing, and supportive environment for financial planning? Instead of an advice-driven, goal-driven, tough love, or in worst case scenarios a, I am the expert, and you are the incompetent financial planning client experience?

    Simply stated, counseling psychology has shown me a different path. I have experienced both styles of financial planning, and the safe, nurturing, and supportive one has been the one that has helped me develop a far more balanced and healthy relationship with myself, my wife, my family, and money.

    Here’s the thing, I love goals, I love advice, and I love learning. You probably do too. Yet sometimes, that is not what we need. Sometimes this is not what our partners need. At times we need love and connection before financial planning and goal-setting and help. We see love and connection as foundational to financial well-being.

    Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™ is about finding the middle zone between what the financial information says and what your mind/brain/body, story, intuition, family, and culture say. Financial planning can help us understand the math and likely outcomes of different financial decisions. What financial planning can’t do is tell us what is essential in our life, what we need help healing from, and when we need to make small or big changes.


    Going Deeper Into Relationship and Mental Health

    The study of relationship and mental health is deep and wide. We can learn countless lessons from this field and apply them to ourselves and our experiences with money and others. Healthy Love and Money specializes in understanding how our attachment styles, family systems, and interpersonal neurobiology impact our sense of self, emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and relationships in general and specifically to the totality of our financial life.


    Connecting With The Parts and Whole Of Your

    Financial Life

    Your personal finances matter to you and the people you are connected with. None of us are born with the knowledge of how money works or the many different elements of our financial life. Seeing how all the pieces are connected is another step along the money maturity process.

    Financial Planning helps us review and make decisions about the different parts of our financial life and also allows us to see how decisions in one area impact another.

    The six major areas of your personal finances.
    1. Cash Flow and Spending
    2. Investing/Saving/Retirement
    3. Taxes
    4. Insurance
    5. Estate Planning
    6. Education Funding

    Because each part is connected like a children’s mobile, change in one area can impact other areas in expected and unexpected ways. Financial planning helps to predict what will happen.

    As living, breathing humans, it would be easy if this information was all taken in and processed as just facts. But that’s not it. We are humans with our own sense of self, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and beliefs about others that color how we want to organize our financial lives.

    Financial planning can feel like stepping on the dreaded scale for many people and couples. What the numbers reveal can evoke anxiety, anger, regret, shame, or any other combination of uncomfortable emotions and bodily reactions.

    Working with complex combinations of reactions to your financial life is why Therapy- Informed Financial Planning™ is so important. Knowing how to help people and couples with their responses to their financial information is helpful for crafting a financial plan that works for all interested people.


    Bringing It All Together

    Fee-Only Financial Planning + Financial Therapy + Couples Therapy

    = Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™

    I have built Healthy Love and Money out of my journey to understand myself, my wife, our family, and the culture that has shaped all of our financial lives. This journey has turned into my life’s work to create a new legacy for my children where we can all talk openly and honestly about our financial reality, what it means to each of us and how we can use money to live a meaningful life.

    Working with countless people, couples, and families in various contexts has helped me understand the subtitles and complexities of life and money. In no way do I know every contour and subtly, but much like a brain surgeon becomes a master student of the brain, I have become a master student of people and money.

    With deep knowledge of financial planning, financial therapy, and couples therapy, I combine them in a way that helps clients learn, heal, and grow toward the life they desire to live. Please remember this is an evolving and dynamic process. One I continue to be on and one I love helping other clients be on.


    Common Types of Clients Who Benefit From Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.

    Financial Planners and money professionals who have a hard time working with their spouses to create a financial plan that works for their family. At first glance, this may seem counterintuitive, that financial planners and money professionals would have additional challenges with their family finances, and yet I have seen it countless times. There are very understandable psychological explanations for the added challenges that money professionals have in navigating their family finances.

    Busy entrepreneurs and professionals who are experts in what they do but do not have the time or energy to sort through all the moving pieces of their finances. They often struggle to communicate the impacts of what happens in their business and how it impacts their home life. I commonly hear it’s just easier to try and make more money, then try to get my partner to change.

    Mental Health professionals who have dedicated themselves to understanding the human condition and experience and yet know they know they need to understand and improve their relationship with money. Allowing someone to care for you and extend trust with your finances can be major part of your own self of the therapist work.

    First-generation professionals who have crossed many visible and invisible barriers to achieve some version of success, that once they achieved it leaves them disillusioned or alienated from themselves, their family and their community of origin. They often also feel uncomfortable with their level or income or wealth.

    People and couples that have benefited from counseling and therapy throughout their life, and realize they need help to tackle their financial life. They have experienced the positive impacts of therapy and counseling and want that to help them develop a financial plan that works for them.

    There are many other people groups and identities not represented in these examples. Please know I am aware of this, and I invite you to reach out if you want to talk about your particular needs. If I am not the right fit, I will gladly try to help you find someone that is.


    5 Frequently Asked Questions?

    1. Can Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™ Replace Therapy?

    Therapy Informed Financial Planning is not intended to replace mental health care and therapy. If a need for deeper, long-term therapy emerges during the time of working together, a referral will be made. We believe in the value of depth-based long-term therapy as part of a more extensive healing journey when needed.

    We will gladly remain your therapy-informed financial planner and help advocate for you in maintaining your financial well-being while pursuing therapy.

    2. What does Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™ Cost?

    Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™ with Healthy Love and Money is currently determined based on common tiered flat fee-only pricing models. This is a financial planning service. Please see the current fee disclosure for Healthy Love and Money. 

    3. How Often Do I Meet With My Therapy-Informed Financial Planner™?

    The Healthy Love and Money view of Therapy Informed Financial Planning™ seeks to foster a long-term collaborative working relationship with their clients.

    Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™ is offered on an annual basis and ongoing. We know that working with our clients is an in-depth process to ensure that we accurately advise and counsel our clients.

    During the first year of working together, we will likely meet between 8 – 12 times, depending on many variables. There is flexibility in meeting frequency to meet the needs of each couple and client.

    After the first year of working together, most clients will meet four times a year to review progress and receive support around specific topics relevant to their current needs. Again there is flexibility to meet more or less frequently as needed.

    4. What Topics Are Covered In Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™?

    In financial therapy, we commonly talk about exterior and interior personal finances. I like to think of each of them as an ingredient in a delicious recipe. Each ingredient can be combined with others and create a completely different meal.

    Exterior Therapy Informed Financial Planning will look at the six major areas of personal finances. 1. Cashflow/Spending 2. Investments/Retirement 3. Taxes 4. Insurance 5. Estate Planning 6. Education Funding

    Interior Therapy Informed Financial Planning will look at 1. Great Communication 2. Attachment Styles 3. Brain and Money 4. Navigating Emotions 5. Families & Money 6. Stages of Life 7. Social Class 8. Mental Health & Trauma Healing 9. Past, Present, and Future Money Experiences.

    5. Will You Manage My Investments?

    Yes, we can help you manage your investments, or we can offer you guidance on your investments as you manage them. Investment management services are part of our comprehensive, Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™ work.

    Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™ loves helping clients to navigate the market and investor psychology. Being a successful long-term investor involves having a solid investment philosophy and the ability to navigate your emotional reactions to the market and your life.

    We will also work on your financial identity and how you see yourself as it relates to investing. If you tend to either spend very large amounts of time on your investments or you would rather not think about it all, we will explore the origins of this and help you find a middle ground that works for you and your family.

    Time For Self Reflection

    I invite you to stop and take a deep breath. Notice what is happening in your body.

    How has the idea of Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™ resonated for you?

    Notice particular places of fear, anxiety, and shame.

    Notice particular places of hope, excitement, and encouragement.

    Let’s Talk About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™

    If you are ready to explore Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™ and if it is right for you, let’s schedule a time to talk.

    Please use this link to schedule a free 30-minute discovery call.

    Wishing You Healthy Love and Money,

    Ed Coambs, MBA, MA, MS, CFP®, CFT-I™, LMFT

    Ed Coambs

    Ed Coambs

    Therapy Informed Financial Planner at Healthy Love and Money

    Working with many women who have only had part of the financial picture but not the whole family’s financial picture, I have seen and heard about the stress that it creates for them. Including panic attacks, depression, anxiety, anger, and missed opportunities to participate in what matters to them most.

    Empowering women to see, know, and understand the whole financial picture of their lives transforms the way they show up in the world. Allowing them to enjoy themselves, their friendships, their relationships with their kids, and their intimate partners.

    When women feel confident that they can partner with their intimate partner and be seen as equal, it restores intimacy and connection in their most meaningful relationships and models for the next generation of women what is possible.

    How Do Financial Professionals Get Paid

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    How Do Financial Professionals Get Paid: Making Sense of Diverse Compensation Models

    Ladies, let’s be honest – figuring out how financial professionals earn their keep can be a real head-scratcher! 🌟💸 With realtors, mortgage brokers, financial advisors, and money coaches all marching to their own payment drum, it’s easy to get lost in the jumble. 🏠🔑💼💡

    But fear not! By gaining a solid grasp of how they’re compensated, we empower ourselves to make shrewd choices when enlisting their services.

    Let’s demystify the money game! 


    Realtors are crucial in real estate deals. They make money through commissions, which are a percentage of the property’s sale price. Here’s how it works:

    1. Seller’s Agent: If a realtor works for the seller, they typically get 5-6% of the sale price as their commission.
    2. Buyer’s Agent: When they represent the buyer, they often get a part of the commission paid by the seller.
    3. Dual Agency: Sometimes, a realtor may represent both the buyer and seller. In this case, the commission may be different and subject to negotiation.

    Kathryn Hoffman, CDRE

    Kathryn Hoffman, CDRE

    Real Estate Broker at Associate CENTURY 21 Circle

    Kathryn can help you buy or sell your home. She specialize in buying or selling during a divorce. Her specialization equips her to handle the real estate aspect with neutrality and efficiency and ensure the orders for the divorce are carried out. 

    Mortgage Brokers:

    Mortgage brokers help people find the right home loans. They work as go-betweens for borrowers and lenders. Here’s how they get paid:

    1. Lender-Paid Model: Sometimes, the lender pays the broker a commission based on the loan amount and interest rate.
    2. Borrower-Paid Model: Or, borrowers can pay the broker directly. This can be a fee based on a percentage of the loan or a flat fee.”
    Marla Barch

    Marla Barch

    Vice President of Mortgage Lending at CrossCountry Mortgage, LLC

    Marla knows communication is key, and sharing information is as important as listening. She will make sure you know what’s happening with your mortgage as it progresses through the process and will be available to answer your questions. Marla will be with you every step of the way, from application to closing and beyond.

    Financial Advisors:

    Financial advisors help with investments, retirement plans, and overall money matters. They earn their income in various ways:

    1. Commission-Based: Some advisors earn money by selling financial products like mutual funds or insurance. They get paid when you buy the products.
    2. Fee-Based: These advisors charge for their advice and can also earn commissions from selling certain products.
    3. Fee-Only: These advisors only charge for advice and don’t get commissions. They might have an hourly rate, a fixed fee, or charge based on how much money they manage for you (AUM).

    AUM (Assets Under Management): If advisors manage your investments, they can charge an annual fee, often a percentage of what they’re managing. For example, it’s usually 1% for up to a million dollars, and it goes down as you invest more.

    Michelle Gordon

    Michelle Gordon

    Founder and CEO at Investably LLC

     Michelle loves helping women-led households to reach financial freedom that comes from our collaborative planning to become work-optional with sustainable monthly income, uncover tax savings over their lifetime, and optimize their business exit paydays to create a legacy for their family and the greater community. Michelle can help with investments, being compensated with a percentage of AUM or you can have a Fiduciary Relationship with Ongoing Planning & Advisory Service for a annual fee paid monthly. 

    Money Coaches:

    Money coaches help people get better with their money and reach their financial goals. They get paid in different ways:

    1. Hourly Rate: You pay by the hour for coaching and advice.
    2. Package-Based: Some offer bundles with multiple sessions or certain services for a set fee.
    3. Subscription-Based: Others provide ongoing help through subscriptions. You pay a monthly or yearly fee for access to resources, advice, and regular check-ins.
    Pamela Richardson

    Pamela Richardson

    Money Coach and Financial Educator at Money Mastery with Pam

    Concerned about money? Money Mastery with Pam helps young adults, parents & small business owners develop a better relationship with their money. Pam offers hourly sessions or package based bundles for 3 or 6 months!

    Knowing how financial pros get paid is vital for smart decisions and transparent money partnerships. Whether you’re dealing with a realtor, mortgage broker, financial advisor, or money coach, understanding their payment methods lets you assess their advice clearly and align your goals with theirs. Be open about asking how the professional gets paid. It’s the best way to build a trustworthy, win-win connection.

    Don’t Let Fear Negotiate Your Salary

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    Don’t Let Fear Negotiate Your Salary

    I don’t want to lose the job offer,” my niece replied when I asked her if she was going to negotiate her starting salary. “I am just happy to have an offer, Auntie K!”

    Employers expect applicants to negotiate the starting salary when offering you a job. They actually offer less money, knowing that you are likely to counteroffer. So if you don’t negotiate because you are afraid, know you are leaving money on the table.

    Here are 3 tips to keep in mind when negotiating a job offer:

    1. It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask:

    Your future employer expects you to ask for more money. Typically, men negotiate, and women accept the initial offer. By not negotiating their first salary, many women lose hundreds of thousands of dollars over their careers. Men do too, just less often. The reason is usually fear. My niece was afraid they would rescind the job offer. It wasn’t until I reminded her that they wanted her to work for them, and the worse thing that was going to happen when she asked for more money was they would say “no”. Now that is survivable, isn’t it?

    2. Everything is Negotiable.

    If the company truly can’t pay you more money, think about other benefits that may make the job more attractive. It may be working from home once a week, reimbursing you for a college course, or paying a larger percentage of your health benefits. I even had a friend who once negotiated Wednesday mornings off to take skating lessons! Which brings me back to tip number one – It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask!

    3. Fear is Not Your Friend.

    When it comes to negotiating, fear is never your friend. As the saying goes, feel the fear and do it anyway. It is natural to feel apprehensive about negotiating a job offer, but don’t let your emotional mind make decisions for you. Instead, talk to a friend, parent, or mentor. Brainstorm how to ask for what you deserve.

    My niece starts her big new job on Monday. I am excited for her and very proud. She didn’t back down in her negotiations. Simply talking it out with me helped her realize just how valuable she was. And her future employer agreed!

    What is your biggest fear when negotiating a job offer? How can you take steps to overcome this fear and realize your true value?

    Kathleen Burns Kingsbury

    Kathleen Burns Kingsbury

    Negotiation Trainer and Coach KBK Wealth Connection

    I’m passionate about coaching women – financial advisors, coaches and consultants – because I thrive on empowering them to transform from feeling uncomfortable, apprehensive, or anxious about setting and discussing fees with clients into becoming confident and self-assured professionals. My tailored negotiation and sales programs are exclusively crafted to cater to the unique needs of women. Drawing upon my extensive two-decade-plus background in business and clinical expertise in the psychology of women and wealth, these programs provide women with a comprehensive toolkit of proven negotiation tactics that work and yield tangible results.

    Why Hiring a Financial Advisor is Crucial for Your Financial Future

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    Why Hiring a Financial Advisor is Crucial for Your Financial Future: Meet Our Vetted Female-Focused Professionals at Purse Strings

    Hiring a financial advisor is as crucial as consulting a skilled mechanic regarding your car. While some of us may tinker with our vehicles, if we make mistakes or break something, the consequences are often minimal and can be repaired. However, when it comes to managing your finances, getting it wrong from the start can have far-reaching, irreversible consequences. Unlike a car that can be fixed, time lost in financial planning and investments is almost impossible to recover. Such missteps can significantly impact your financial future.

    Just as an experienced mechanic knows the ins and outs of your vehicle and can diagnose issues accurately, financial advisors are experts in understanding the nuances of the financial world. They can help you make informed decisions, minimize risks, and design a financial strategy that aligns with your goals. Without their insights, you risk making costly mistakes that can set you back substantially, making it challenging to catch up and secure your financial well-being.

    At Purse Strings, we do the heavy lifting for you. We look for financial professionals who focus on serving the female market. These are professionals who “get you.” They know what you’re up against and will be in your court to partner with you so that together you can create a beautiful financial future. No guilt. No shame. No embarrassing questions. We vetted them all and they are professionals we would refer to our own BFFs, our moms, and our female friends.

    Read over these intros, click on their names, and dig deeper into their Purse Strings profiles. They are ready to start working with you today!

    Erin Redmond

    Partner at Ford Financial Group

    Erin works in partnership with her mother, who is also a financial professional. Two powerhouses!! They have primarily focused on women and work diligently to make sure their female clients have peace of mind and ease the stress that comes with opening up about finances.

    Ashley Nichols

    Financial Planner at WestPac Wealth Partners

    Ashley always makes sure her clients have a thorough understanding of where they are today financially so she can assist them in creating a roadmap of where they want to go in the near future or long term. She and her team specialize in asset protection and tax planning/strategizing.

    Abbey Henderson

    CEO, Wealth Advisor, and Coach at Abaris Financial Group

    Abbey loves working with women because she feels women tend to be more relationship-oriented and relationship is her favorite part of being an advisor. She also finds that women are often her most engaged and collaborative clients.

    John Foley

    Certified Financial Planner at Baystate Financial. 

    John knows how some people think financial planning is intimidating. So, his goal for every client is to derive a feeling of ease. You could be the CFO of a business or a homemaker with no prior financial acumen, but John will treat you the same way. He will take the time to learn about your financial needs and concerns and help educate and empower you to make the right financial decisions.

    JoanN North

    Certified Financial Planner at J North Financial

    Joan is committed to helping her clients create a clear financial plan by listening to their concerns and goals, simplifying the complex financial environment, and minimizing risk where possible. The end result will be less stress with higher potential for you to reach your financial goals all while addressing your own unique circumstances.

    A financial professional is a team player to help you navigate your financial journey. Why not work with one of the best, fully vetted, female-focused and at the ready, to create a prosperous and smooth journey ahead. Come on, ladies – let’s be financially fearless.